Cool August days make me think about riding horses.

Cool August mornings always make me think about riding horses. In the summer when it's hot, riding is nice, but the best time in my mind is the last days of August. The weather is cool, your boots don't stay stuck on your feet for hours after your ride. Your horse is feeling frisky, not taxed and grumpy. You enjoy that time of being a team, and feel free and wild as you canter about the ring. Oh how long ago it is since I've been on a horse. And yet these past few mornings the urge to ride is in the back of my mind. Up in my attic are all the relics of a teenage love affair with horses. There are Breyer horse statues, and ribbons won at the horse shows. My UVM Horse Club jacket with my name embroidered on it. Someday I'll get myself back to a horse barn. I'll smell that wonderful horse barn smell, and the smell of leather saddles and bridles. I'll hear the nickering of a horse. I'll feel the warm breath from it's nostrils. I'll soak every minute up. If I could go back in time I'd go back to the farm. I wouldn't wish for the day to go fast. I would enjoy every moment as if it was my last

moment, my last day to live. Some days it's hard to realize that I have no one to share this love with. I think that I have buried it so deep in my memory because most of the people I know have no passion for it and wouldn't want to talk about it. Many of the things that I have loved to do, I've had no one to share the memories with. If you don't love horses you can't understand a person who does. If you are not studying animal science, you do not want to hear about it. Many times in my life I've felt that people could not understand me, or those things I have a passion for. It's very rare when I find someone who could talk for hours about horses.

I'm thankful my daughter is in 4-H. I now have an outlet for my passion for animals. I get to teach her 4-H group about cats. At the 4-H fair I got to talk to tons of people about cats and cat care. I could have stayed all day. The other nice thing was that I got to look out and watch all the children riding their horses. I'm excited for the new 4-H season to start. I love to teach, I love to learn about animals. This past spring I took 3 Vet. assistant classes online. I absolutely loved taking them. I got 100's on all the finals. They seemed so easy to me. I know in my future I will end up working at a vet clinic. It is one of my new goals. I need to wait though until my

Husband is more settled in his new job, and the kids are ready to be more on their own. Once these things are in place I will begin looking to work at a vet clinic.

The top photo is of me and Chalice Intrigue he was a horse that I got to work with one summer at the farm I worked at. The middle photo is of me and Andover Windpepper Aka : Andi. She was my horse. I paid $800.00 for her. I owned her for 8 years, and then my parents gave her and their horse away when I got married. Oh it broke my heart. She lived only about 3 years more, the last time I saw her at her new farm she was so ill, I knew she would not live another year. My poor mother when she saw her said she would never have brought me to see her if she knew how ill she was. She was such a beautiful horse. The last photo is of Andi and I jumping. She loved to jump. I was a bit terrified, but jumping on a horse is one of those experiences you just never forget. It's the closest you can come to feeling like you are flying. Perhaps I'll dream of riding tonight. I worked for a Morgan Horse farm. I have some really wonderful memories of that farm, and two scrapbooks filled with photo's. Think I'll go look at them. This year has definitely been a year of looking back.

14 years of wonderful memories

14 Years ago I said "I do." My wedding day was such a stressful and wonderful day. But I know this I chose the right man at the right time. My husband and I have had many blessing over the past few years. We have two very beautiful children. We have a nice little house. ( I wouldn't want anything bigger.) We've had good health, and good jobs. My family is now on a new course. Each of us has some new start this year. My husband has a new job, he is on day 7. He isn't working as fast as they would like, but all that he is doing is being done correctly.


My children will both be off to new schools.
My son is entering 7th grade, and the teen years.

My daughter is going to a new school, she will be in 5th grade, and will be taking flute lessons. I hope she and I will get to play together.

I'm looking for a new job. With all the stress of change, it seems that we have not just one change but many. But in all of that my husband and I have each other. We have had 14 years to build a strong relationship. We have trust for each other. We build each other up as needed, and comfort as needed. We have had many years where life has

been easy for us. Now this time in our life will help test us and help us grow and see how strong we are, and to show us where we may need to become stronger. We have had trials before that have strengthened us, I know and am already seeing how these new trials are bringing us closer together. I'm thankful that in this struggle we have had the ability to stay in Love, and to help each other. We are two totally different people, and yet our differences compliment each other and make us a good team.

This is my Husbands all time favorite photo of us. Each year we go to target and have our family photo taken for Christmas cards. He always has to have this kiss face type. If you get cards from us you will never get the kiss face.

This was last years photo of us. We used to just get a family photo. But over the years as I have worked on family history books, I noticed that you always see photo's of the children, and never the parents. I wanted photo's of us together, to celebrate our being a couple. I want to see the changes in us as the years go by. So far I think we have stayed looking pretty young.

In the Attic: I was in the attic again this morning. I now have 5 bags of garbage. I've unearthed more packages of bills to shred. I've gone through the memories of the children's games we have out grown. I don't know what to do with all the board games we have, perhaps there is a place that takes donations. I've seen my old baby book and some childhood dreams. I found a journal from 2003, and I was lamenting the fact that with Jacob finally in school, my life seemed off balance. I'm always struggling for balance in my life, better organization. I am not sure I'm ready for the new schools, the new schedules, and all the home work, and studying that will need to be done. But it is coming, just like a freight train speeding down the tracks at night with it's horn blaring, the change is coming.

Cleaning my attic brings memories of the past

Since summer began one of the things I have been trying to do is clean my attic. Of course I had to choose the hottest summer on record to try this. But if you ask my parents I'm always in the process of cleaning out my attic. This time though I mean business! This photo is of my cat laying on a pile of papers that are bound for the shredder. Over the years as bills have come in and been paid, I have put the statements in envelops and stuffed the in the attic. Now I'm taking them all and shredding them. It has been interesting to see what I bought a few years ago on the old credit card statements. And to read over old medical bills and say "boy I'm glad that is over." I'm also going through boxes and taking out all the books that have made it up into the attic. My church is having a book drive and I'm ready to get rid of all those books that have been packed away. Well at least most of them. Some of them I have to read one more time. The next book waiting for me is "Shell Seekers." I read this book a few years ago and thought it was wonderful, so I'm looking forward to reading it again. Some books you read once and you are done and others are like old friends and you need to visit them again and again.

Also while I've been up in my attic I have found pieces of my families past tucked away here and there. Little strawberry short cake dolls that still have the "berry" smell, trains, toy cars, videos (lots and lots of videos) and some different baby items I couldn't seem to part with. I've flipped through some of my old year books, and even looked at all the ribbons I won while showing my horse. I know why people keep things, as you hold some soft baby blanket, you remember your sweet young baby. But at some point I think you need to say to yourself just how much of this can I really keep. Or for me it's more, if I don't start getting rid of things there will be no room to walk in the attic. So it's time.

Work world: Yesterday my husband left for his new job, and was back home by 9am. My children greeted him, and I looked down at him from the stairs wondering why was he home. He said " Boy that was a short period of employment." My heart just sank, and then he said " Just kidding it's my day off." I could have killed him. Especially since today is our 14th anniversary!

So today he starts his long week of working 5 days in a row. He is doing much better and some of it comes from reading an article from our churches magazine. The articles title is " Continue in Patience." One of the quotes that he will probably have memorized soon is this "... Patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen- patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn't appear instantly or without effort... There is an important concept here: Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can - working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well! So in our new trials both my husband and I are working on being patient and enduring well.

He Survived!

My husband survived his first week of work! I hope that the roller coaster that we are on will slow down, and that he will be able to relax and sleep. When he got home from work today, he had wanted to go to the beach. It is our families favorite place to be, but we ended up staying home. I can only imagine that his lack of sleep is going to hit him at some point. I actually think he will sleep in tomorrow, and then once we return home from church he will sleep the day away. Then it's back to the new job. I have to say when my husband isn't feeling terrified, it is actually very fun to listen to him talk about his new job. There are a lot of positives. The people are friendly and willing to help him, the shop is honest. No one is out to sell the customers what they don't need. They are looking for someone who will do the work well and properly. My husband once he learns the new stuff will be a perfect fit. I'm happy for this chance that he has. The level of learning and growing that he is doing, just in one week is so amazing. I'm quite jealous of his opportunity. He is out, meeting new people, and learning new things. That is something I look forward to doing at some point. Some days being at home and not seeing very many adults is really hard for me. I think that is why the 4-H fair was so very fun, I got to meet and talk to tons of people. Well that is all for tonight. I've got to go read and figure out what I'm going to talk about to the women in the church tomorrow from my magazine. I have an idea, and so I need to just put it all together.

A MOPE CAME TO VISIT MY HOUSE TODAY!

Here is a photo from a few years ago of my mum plants about a year after the first planting. My mother - in- law gave me the little ghost. This year my mum's are going to be so much bigger and take up the whole front garden box.

I just felt I needed some sort of photo. Since I'm not sure what a "Mope" looks like, when I saw this ghost I thought maybe. But the ghost is just too happy. Here is the story, perhaps someday I'll turn it into a children's story.

This morning a "Mope" came to my house with the little girl that I babysit. These creatures are one of the worst of imaginary beings one would want to have stuck to you. She walked in the door, sat down and began to cry. Now for some reason when you are under the influence of a "Mope" you are unable to tell anyone your reason for distress. They render you completely unable to answer questions, and make you cry and frown, and and not want to play. Breakfast sometimes helps you calm down, but the mere thought of having to do something a little hard will bring you back to tears.

The very awful thing about a "mope" is that it does not stay with the same person throughout the day. As one person begins to feel cheery, it looks for it's next victim and jumps onto them, not knowing that it has landed and is spreading its evil spell, the person falls under it's spell and begins to feel sad, and begins to cry and whine, and mope about. Again the person may know the reason for this but under the mopes evil spell is unable to articulate the cause. And as soon as that person begins to feel a bit happy, it hops to the nearest child that has not yet fallen under it's evil spell. Older children seem more able to articulate their mopiness, but still have a very hard time bouncing back to happiness. As my day came to an end, and all three children had been attacked at least twice with the "Mope", I hoped that as my son left for a scout activity that it would leave with him and find some new victim. But unfortunately in the car it must have gone back onto the little girl who brought it to my house in the first place, and so she was once more brought down into the world of Mopiness. As she left I made her promise that as she went out with her Mom that she would give that "Mope" away and not bring it back to my house tomorrow.

The definition of Mope:
mope (mōp)intransitive verb moped moped, moping mop·ing, mopes
a. To be gloomy or dejected.
b. To brood or sulk. See Synonyms at brood.
To move in a leisurely or aimless manner; dawdle.noun
A person given to gloomy or dejected moods.
mopes Low spirits; the blues. Often used with the.
Origin: Origin unknown.
Related Forms:
moper mopˈer noun
mopish mopˈish, mopˈey adjective
mopishly mopˈish·ly adverb

My son moped at the pool this afternoon, and all the way home. Once home, I had to look up the word to make sure it was really a real word. Then I had to look up the word dejected, to tell him what that meant, and he said "Yes, that is how I feel..dejected. I had no one to play with at the pool :( Definition of dejected: gloomy and lacking hope, especially because of disappointment
Synonyms: despairing, despondent, discouraged, crestfallen, depressed, disconsolate, doleful, downcast, morose, melancholy, miserable
Antonyms: exhilarated, cheery
Tips: Dejected comes from the Latin word dejectus, "to throw down." If you are dejected, some event has "thrown you down" from a good mood into a bad one. But the word implies more than mere unhappiness; it also carries a connotation of extreme sadness because of hopelessness.

Now here is my next question is there a definition for Ject? In college I took this great course called "ETYMOLOGY" and you learned how words are made and how to break them down. You know there are so many words with Ject in them. Deject, Reject, Eject, abject.... can you think of one? So that is what I guess I'm off to learn. Sorry for the silliness. I guess if I'm to stay sane, in all the trials that surround me, I need to find some silliness and happiness around me. Which reminds me I started reading my "Happiness Project book again." I needed it. My life seems to have exploded around me, with all the changes my house has become a mess and my once routine and orderly life has ceased to exist. I need to bring myself back to center and find order again. "The Happiness Project" book helped me see this more clearly today. Once I do this I'm hoping for more energy to get me through my days.

Tomorrow will be the final day of my husbands first week back to work as a Mechanic. I hope within a month he will have confidence in himself, that he will still be physically able to do the work, and that he will be making the hours he needs to make for us to survive if he is to be a mechanic. We were discussing this tonight, and I told him, it is good that he is trying this out now, while he still has a year to collect unemployment if something goes wrong at the highest rate you can collect. If he had waited to take a job, gotten career counseling, and gotten a grant, he might have decided to take auto mechanic training, and then if he got hired a year from now, and he could not physically do the work he would have been in trouble. It is nice for us to know that there is a safety net under us if this job venture fails. I hope and I know he hopes that it will not fail. Trying to redefine your life when you are almost 50 years old must be a very daunting task for him. The people at his work are very nice to him, and very helpful. I know that this is both a learning experience and growing experience for him. He is going to learn many things in the next few weeks, that will help him move in the best path possible for our family.

I did not end up getting an application for the vet's office yesterday. When I went back, they said they were not hiring and did not even allow me to fill out a employment form. In thinking about it on the way home I realized that I would not be happy working there, and that when my family is in a better financial position, my cat will be getting a different vet. Here is the reason why. When I called to set up the appointment for my cat I asked the receptionist what I thought was a simple question. I want the vet's opinion on whether I should have my cat receive the FeLV vaccination. My daughter is in 4-H and the cat is exposed to other cats. When we first got the cat we did not plan on doing this and so she did not get the vaccination. The receptionist told me I would have to ask when I came in because the vet was too busy. (That's strike one for their customer service in my book.) When I brought my cat in yesterday I asked the same question, they wrote it down, but the vet was not yet in the office (Strike two). Here's the thing, you drop your animal off they check it over,and then you pick your animal up, and you never see the vet. So the receptionist calls me up and says " The Vet says she can't make the decision for you about the vaccination you need to make that." I say " I don't want the vet to make the decision, I want the vets opinion so I can make the decision." The receptionist says " Well the vet is busy and I can't bother her."(Strike three you're out and have lost my respect.) I say " Just give the cat the vaccination." Why did I do it, because I had already talked to another vet and they said I should. But being the customer my cat's vet should have enough time to give me their opinion. See one unsatisfied customer will tell the world about their bad opinion of you and you will lose business. But if you satisfy your customer they will tell others and you will gain more business. When I find the right job, I will work for a company that expects great customer service. I don't want to work for someone who does not have time for their customers.

Well that's it for tonight. Good night. I apologize for typo's, and grammatical errors in my blog. I was not an English major, and I must have slept though all the lessons that were taught at school. When my husband reads over my shoulder things come out much better. And tonight I'm pretty much typing in the dark, the only light being the computer monitor. Time to go to bed.

Are you sleeping? Are you hiring?

This flower is growing in the fence that is between my house and my neighbors house.(I believe it is a double black eyed Susan) I like taking photo's like this because of the pattern of the fence and the beauty of the flower. My neighbor and I spend mornings working on our flower gardens and chatting across the fence. It is one of the ways we relieve the stress of our lives. My neighbors husband is very ill. In fact about a year ago her husband was taken to the hospital and was in a coma for three days. He almost did not make it. Ever since he has come home he has dealt with many medical issues. This week has been very rough for them. He was in the hospital this past weekend. He has an infection and all the medication he takes causes allergic reactions. So each morning my neighbor and I discuss how much sleep we have had. She because her husband is up and ill, and me because my husband is nervous about doing well and making the hours he needs to make enough money for us to survive. I know that by going and talking to my neighbor I help her to just have someone that is listening to her. It allows her to just talk and distress. It also in ways helps me to see my own blessings. We are all well and healthy that is a big blessing.

Here are a few photo's of my cat sleeping. Cat's sleep about 16 hours a day. Some days I'm very jealous of this. They have this great ability to just find some place and sleep. Actually maybe I'll do a blog of the crazy places I find my cat sleeping. This is my favorite place though, how she curls her body up to fit in this spot is just amazing.

Today unfortunately for my cat was her 6 month check up at the vets office. The receptionist was on her third day as being an employee. I asked all sorts of questions as what where you doing before, what are the hours. And then I asked are they still hiring? So I will get an application when we pick my cat up. That is what I'm doing everywhere I go I'm asking "Are you hiring?" I would love to be a receptionist at a Vet clinic. I know I may have to take other jobs, as I need to be making more than I do on unemployment, but eventually that is my goal. This week is National bring your cat's to the vet week. every day I read a cat trivia question( here is the site if you are interested, if you go each day you help give kibble to shelter cats.http://freekibblekat.com/default.asp .) I've been collecting them to put together some cat jeopardy games and cat bowl quiz games. I have so much fun learning about cats. Well wish me luck.

When in doubt, wash or read the scriptures!

Here are some fun quotes from the book "The Abandoned" by Paul Gallico.
Pg. 40. (A little back ground, the cat Jenny is teaching Peter a boy who has turned into a cat the rules of being a cat. This is the first and very important rule for all cats.)
" When in doubt- any kind of doubt - wash!" that is rule #1.... If you have committed any kind of error and anyone scolds you - wash,...If you slip and fall off something and somebody laughs at you - wash. If you are getting the worst of an argument and want to break off hostilities until you have composed yourself, start washing. Remember, every cat respects another cat at her toilet. That's the first rule of social deportment, and you must also observe it. Whatever the situation, whatever difficulty you may be in, you can't go wrong if you wash. If you come into a room full of people you do not know and who are confusing to you, sit right down in the midst of them and start washing. They'll end up by quieting down and watching you.... All you have to remember is rule #1 when in doubt wash." Isn't it amazing how often you see a cat washing. Well I took this to heart yesterday, and while in my down ward spiral of fear, I jumped in the shower to just get away from all the worries. And it worked. Often when talking to friends who have young children, the number one place of escape is the blessedness of taking a shower. I came out feeling clean, and with some ideas of looking differently at our situation. Now if washing does not totally calm you my next suggestion is to read from the scriptures. God will guide you if you seek.






Even my cat understands the need for scriptures; doesn't she look like she is gaining much from just sitting on them? My church has a monthly magazine and I had promised to read from it and talk to the women this Sunday in church about one of the articles. So yesterday as the children swam in the pool I sat reading. So far I've read eight articles. I'm not sure which to pick yet but I did get a lot of spiritual guidance. Here are a few quotes . " Many answers to difficult questions are found by reading the scriptures because the scriptures are an aid to revelation. Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day. Daily prayer is also essential to having the Lord's spirit with us. Those who earnestly seek help through prayer and scripture study often have a paper and pencil nearby to write questions and record impressions and ideas." This is something I'm going to be more diligent about doing.
"Each of us will face trials and tests, and as in this simplistic example, it is how we react to those difficulties that will determine our success and happiness . Each of us will face adversity no matter where we are. We are taught in the scriptures that there "must needs be... an opposition in all things. We will each face times of difficulty, and the question is not when we will face them but how we face them. .... We may never know in this life why we face what we do, but we can feel confident that we can grow from the experience. ... All things work together for good to them that love God."
I'm in much better spirits today. I thank those of you who are there to support me. My husbands second day of work went well. He is surviving, and learning. His boss seems kind and concerned that he will make at least 30 hours a week, and I'm sure as he gets used to his work he will continue to do better. I'm finalizing my resume this week, and then next week on my husbands day off plan to go out and start applying for jobs. I have a friend who used to work for Pier 1 Imports and I'm going to ask her to go with me to introduce me to the boss, in hopes of possibly getting a job there. It is close to home, and pays more than the book store. So wish me luck!

My life feels like a very bad day at the amusment park!

These past few months have been like living at an amusement park where everything that could go wrong has. I absolutely hate amusement parks, in fact my children and I have only been to amusement parks a few times, and anytime we are there it just makes me realize how much I dislike them. For the most part I have felt as if I have been living on a roller coaster. The photo here is exactly how I've been feeling. One moment we are going up, things are looking better. The first looking better was my husband was able to collect unemployment. As there were glitches and gosh we just didn't know. So when we found that he could get unemployment that was great, we were OK. I was ready to have him collecting and looking for work, and having it take a few months. Maybe even going back to school. Then he got two job offers. We were definitely feeling like we were going up, the unfortunate thing is that with the up there is a down. My husband chose a job, in which he prayed about, asked for advice and felt would be the ultimate best job of the two. Plus

it gave him Sundays off which is important for us. Well he started his new job yesterday, and the learning curve is HUGE. He billed 3hrs. Poor him. I hope today is better. So we have plummeted, and have been shipped to the scrambler. I hate the scrambler. It twirls you about, knotting your stomach up. In fact I think I was still on the up part of the roller coaster, while my husband had already been whizzing around in the scrambler. I know my husband is a great mechanic, I was up, he will do well. He was scared and twirling. Now we are both scared and

twirling about. Will he make enough money for us to survive? Will he pick up the pace and be able to get enough hours? Will he soon be unemployed again and then feel defeated? At least on unemployment we can survive. But if it goes too long with poor pay, we will soon find ourselves not surviving well.

Farris wheels are also a sore point with me. My life could be like the Farris wheel too. Your up, then down, then up, then down, and due to bad childhood experiences with Ferris wheels my stomach is always sick. My stomach is sick, and yet everyone in the house is looking to me for support. I'm the cheerleader for my husband, the caretaker for the children. I'm not sure how long I can continue. I want to sit and cry, and yet I can't do it in front of the kids, I can't do it in front of my husband. How long will I be stuck in this amusement park? It is so tiring.

I try hard to think "This was just day one" Remember day one of unemployment, we didn't even know if my husband would be able to get any unemployment benefits, and then he was able, it's just another day one, feeling unsure, but hopefully in the end it will turn out fine. Pray for us please we need it. I will continue to think "It will be OK... I don't know what OK is... but it will be OK!

A month of Lasts

Here is a photo of my daughter with her last serving of cotton candy. I should have gotten some for myself, but I did get a few tastes of hers.
As I have been thinking about our life this weekend I find that August to me is a month of lasts! We had our last day at the 4-H fair, with the last of cotton candy. We had a great time at the 4-H fair. Our club won the Judges choice for best display. My daughter got a blue ribbon for her project book.

My husband had his last week of unemployment. His first day on the new job was today. I hope it is all going well. Next week we will have the last day of the pool. Many of the plants in my garden are starting to die. We had most likely our last Saturday at the beach for the summer. Which was wonderful. And this is most likely my last summer without working. I'm sure whatever job I find, I will end up working in the summer next year.
I have started reading a new book it's called "The Abandoned" By Paul Gallico. I don't think the book can be bought at a regular book store. I got mine through Amazon.com. So far the book is very interesting. It has ton's of details about what it might be like to be an abandoned cat. I'm only to the 2nd or 3rd chapter, but there are a couple of great parts already in the book. One part is where a stray cat is teaching a boy who has become a cat all about when and why cats wash. Basically cats wash all the time. The description though was just fun! The other part of the book I have liked so far, is the stray cat telling how she was abandoned by her owners. In this the cat talks about her family history, here is the quote I like " ... I must say it is a comfort to know who you are, particularly at times when everything appears to be dead set against you. If you know something about your forebears, who they were and what they did, you are not quite so likely to give up..." Over the last few weeks I have been working on my family history, and learning more of my ancestors survival stories. Sometimes it helps to make your situation seem less daunting when you learn about how someone ages ago survived the long journey from Germany to America. How people who had practically nothing still kept going and doing. In fact lately just working on family history has been such a help in my life. I love doing research on the computer, finding new people and their stories. It has helped me to stay calm while the rest of the world around me has seemed to be so crazy. I look forward to doing more work soon.

Unemployment world: Well my husband started his new job today. He was so nervous. I'm sure he will do fine, but it is such a change from the job he had. We found out that we are not poor enough to get into the state family health care program which are children are in. So this morning I applied for a cheaper health insurance than what we had. Just pray we don't get hurt or sick for the next couple of weeks. Ugh. I continue to look for work. I'm still trying to figure out the best options for me and the family with my work. Just a couple of weeks and the children will be in school, and then I will start going to all my favorite store and look for work as a cashier or sales associate. Again the hope is to work in a bookstore. We will see.

The best part of the fair is COTTON CANDY!

My daughter and I have been at the local 4-H fair the past two days helping in the "CAT CLUB" booth. Our favorite thing to do when things are slow is to go and buy some cotton candy. When I was young you could only get cotton candy at a fair and so it was a special summer treat. Now you can go down to the wal-mart and pick up a tub of it at anytime during the year. It's still not as good as at the fair though. Yesterday at the fair during the day it was so very hot. When we left at 1:00pm we were all ready to jump into the pool down at the park. Today it was cooler and we had rain. I have to say I have been having so much fun talking to people about 4-H and cats.


The other leaders are starting to tease me " you know you are a cat geek when...." Just fill in the blank and that is me. Most of the people in the cat club booth sit behind the table, I stand right next to the cats and ask people if they like cats, how many cats do they have and get them really talking. The thing with people is if you can get them to talk about themselves they will feel happy, comfortable and they will talk your ear off. I talked so much the other night that my throat still hurts a little. I know that when I get a job, that will be one thing that will be a plus for me. I'm good with customers. At my bank job I won the customer service manager of the year award. I hope I get a job where I get to interact with people.


While at the fair many of the children from the school I worked at have seen me and they have all come over and said "hi". It's so nice to be remembered.

Well there is one more day to eat lots of cotton candy, and talk to people about cats. How fun.

Keeping Cat's out!

This year one of the things I planted in my garden was Cat Nip. My cat loves cat nip, but guess what so do all the neighboring cats. To make sure that the cat nip survives I have to cover it. My first attempt at keeping cats from eating and rolling over the baby cat nip plants was to use a crate, some cut up milk cartons and cut up plastic cups. The only problem was that I had to take them off each morning and then put them back on at night. If I forgot to cover them at night the next day my cat nip would be crushed and chewed up. After the last time of forgetting to cover the plants I decided I needed a better system.

I went to the local Agway store and bought some wire fencing. My husband helped me to put this fence up over the cat nip. I even put a top on it, because cats can jump and I didn't want them jumping over the fencing and getting into the cat nip. I had read a book from the library I used to work in about cat nip and they had their cat nip plants surrounded by fencing, I couldn't believe you really needed this, but you do. So if you decided to plant cat nip, be prepared to fence it in. You may never see the cats that live in the neighborhood as most come in the middle of the night, but your cat nip will be destroyed by them if you don't cover it. Cat nip can be used by humans. Some people make tea out of it, and some people believe that it helps with upset stomachs. The oil it produces that cats love is actually used by the plant to keep bugs away from it. There has been some thought of using it as a bug repellent. I actually found some sites that tell you how to use it as a bug repellent. They do say that it can be irritating to skin so be careful if you decide to use it.

Unemployment world: My unemployment payments have started coming in. I have been out looking at possible jobs, working on my resume, and some cover letters, and securing my references. I think I'm very much like my husband, I'm over thinking the whole process. He starts his new job on Monday and I'll be glad when that happens. He is so nervous and excited. I'm glad he has been so busy the past two days helping a friend that he can't sit at home and think about it. I would like to work at a book store or as a receptionist. It annoys my parents that I don't try for a bigger job, but being the one who takes care of the children and house, I don't want a job that is stressful. I just want to get out of the house and do something fun. That was why the library job was so great. It was fun, and I did so many things I love to do. Organize, work on a computer, make bulletin boards, and help with crafts. It was just a fun place to be. ( Can you tell I'm still not over it.)

Finding God in the Garden

When ever I walk about my garden, I think about the following song. Especially when I'm tending to my rose bush. I've always wanted to grow roses, and so the fact that this rose bush has been doing so well makes me very happy.






I come to the garden alone

While the dew is still on the roses


And the voice I hear falling on my ear


The Son of God discloses.


And He walks with me,


and He talks with me,


And He tells me I am His own;


And the joy we share as we tarry there,None other has ever known.


He speaks, and the sound of His voice,


Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,


And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing.


I’d stay in the garden with Him


Though the night around me be falling,


But He bids me go;


through the voice of woe


His voice to me is calling.

A book that I want to buy and read is " Finding God in the Garden, planting, pruning, and the Plan of Happiness." By Brent and Wendy Top. The summary of the book says this: " What do weeds and bad habits have in common? Drawing spiritual parallels to the garden, authors Brent and Wendy Top share lessons they have learned about faith, hope, and repentance, trusting in the Lord's timetable, and many other gospel principles. All who appreciate beauty and wisdom will appreciate this inspirational and colorful book." Sound like a good book to me!

Unemployment World: Well my husband signed on with a auto company today and so the land of unemployment is losing him sooner than most. We feel so blessed that he had two offers and most likely he might actually have 3, but he has signed a deal and is now all nervous and excited about the new adventure that we are about to go on. So a lot of new starts coming soon. Keep praying for us that the transition for him will be smooth. I have another cool kind of story but will not tell until the deal is totally done.... Oh the suspense will you be able to wait??

Sorry about all the space below, I can't seem to get adding photo's and stuff quiet right and then I get all this space in the bottom. I need to find a book called "Blogging for dummies!" I will figure it out someday!

Gardening and Change

Each day as I walk in my garden something new is there. There may be a strange bug to investigate, or a beautiful butterfly. A new seedling may have just come up out of the ground or a flower may have died and needs to be clipped off. Each day my garden changes, it is a constant never ending changing environment. If you read yesterdays post, you will know that I've been really tired of the constant change in my life, and yet as I sat last night and thought about my garden I realized that it would not be fun if there was not the constant change. Each day the change brings challenges... (like bunnies eating my favorite plants or cats rolling all over my cat nip because I forgot to cover it at night.) But each day it also brings breath taking beauty. It allows me to take in the miracle of life on a small but beautiful scale. Each day my garden teaches me about life and faith. About the fact that change is a part of everyday life, but in that there is beauty. And that challenges are part of everyday life, but by thinking about your challenges you can find solutions. I have learned so much about plants and life this summer it has been wonderful. The top photo is of some of my Daisy's. I had a good crop of Daisy's this year. They last a couple of weeks and then are gone, but they are so lovely to look at when in bloom. I got some great photo's for the cards that I'm going to be making.

This is a photo of an Easter Lily. These flowers only live about a week. They are beautiful though. And come back each year. They are extremely toxic to cat's and so they stay in the garden, none come in the house.

I'm not sure what the name of these Orange Lilies are, but I think I need to dig them up and move them this fall. They ended up behind some daisy bushes and they did not do so well this year. I want to move them to the back garden.

These are red lilies. Again I'm not sure what their exact name is, another thing I'll have to look up. I love lilies as a teaching tool for children. All the parts are so easy to see on a lily. They would be great for teaching children the parts of a flower.

Unemployment Land: My husband is trying to decide the best place to work. It is nice to have two offers, and so he now needs to decide between the two. At least he has the choice. I feel we are being blessed even with the bad economy. I'm so thankful that he has offers. Although I feel like we are climbing onto another roller coaster. I just hope the ride is not as bumpy as the last. Keep us in your prayers, and advice is always welcome.

Traveling Hens and chicks!

Long ago there was a gardener in Connecticut who had too many Hens and Chicks. So the gardener grabbed a pot, and gave some to a friend. This friend travelled with them all the way to Vermont and planted them in their garden. The Hen's and chicks flourished and so this gardener gave them to another Vermont gardener. Years later there were too many Hens and chicks and so that gardener gave her daughter "Blaire" from New Jersey a pot of the Hens and chicks. The Hens and Chicks survived the 7 hour trip to New Jersey. Despite being taken out and put back into the trunk due to flat tires. And Now they are planted in a garden in New Jersey. There is a lot of space and gardener "Blaire" hopes that they will multiply so that someday the boarder of her garden will be Hens and chicks.

Here are the Hens and chicks on my front porch after their long ride.

Here are the Hens and Chicks planted in their new garden, far from Vermont.

I love the idea of taking a plant from someones garden and adding it to my garden. If these Hens and Chicks grow I will always have a piece of my mom's garden at my house. I also take rocks from Vermont and the beach and add them to my boarder.

Unemployment World: Today was kind of a busy day, even though I don't feel I did much. I spent time looking at job possibilities. Spent time waiting for my husband to come home from interviews. Spent time cleaning and watching my children and their friends. I spent time on my computer. I feel like I'm in this funk, and kind of a holding pattern too... Once my husband decides what job he will take, then I will know what hours I can work. Then I can feel comfortable applying to jobs. I don't want to apply for a job only to have my husbands job interfere. I'm a very honest person, and when I work for someone, I give 100%. I always have, and I don't like to feel like I can't do that. Sometimes I over think the whole thing, and I just feel absolutely sick. Then I stop and wonder "why am I so worried?" I think I miss the order of what our life used to be... I've gotten used to the order of both of us being unemployed only to have my husband have two job offers, and now I'll have to get used to his work schedule, and then the kids will go back to school, and then hopefully I will get a job. I really guess what I'm saying is that I'd like some stability in my life.... Is there stability in this world anymore? I'm so tired of the movement, the perpetual motion of change, I'd just like something to stay the same for longer than a moment. I'm not sure any of what I've just written makes any sense.... Sorry!

Also I have to say, I'm still very upset that I am not going back and working in the library this year. I'm sad that I don't get to go back and put up bulletin boards, and help organize things, and get to see all the kids. I'm still stuck in this business of being sad. It's one thing to lose a job you really didn't care much for, it's another to lose a job that you felt was just perfect for you. It still hurts and I wonder will I ever get over it? I think half my problem is that I can't see my way beyond what I've already lost to the potential of what I might get if I move forward...I'm not sure I know how to move forward. I wish I could be like the Hens and chicks and just have someone pick me up and put me somewhere and say here is where you should be now grow. I just don't know where that "here" place is. I just don't know where I fit anymore.

Alien life form or strange bug?

When I went out to water my plants this afternoon I had to run back into the house and get my camera. An alien life form, or perhaps a strange bug was on my strawberry plant. Can you tell the bug from the plant? Take a close look and you will see the amazing "Leaf bug". I don't know much about this bug, but it is big, and strange and I was glad to have the camera close by so that I could have some cool photo's of it.

At first glance I thought it was a "Preying Mantis" which are cool looking too, but it didn't take long to realize that it was a Leaf bug. I have to say this is the first time I have ever seen this bug. I'm glad he was outside and not in my house.

















Side view of the "Leaf Bug."

I looked up onto the railing and another strange bug was hanging out. It must have been strange bug day. This is a Cicada Bug. I have never seen one of these bugs before, but I have heard them a lot at the park this year. I think if you had to be in the park all day and listen to them you just might go insane!

Unemployment Land: My husband had a second interview with an auto company today, and was offered a job. He has another interview tomorrow. Then if he is offered a job there he will have to make a decision on which job to take. If the other company does not offer him a job he will take the first offer. There will be no commute as the job is about a block from where we live. That will save about $300.00 a month in just gas money! Once we know his hours it will be much easier for me to be able to apply for a good job. Wow there really are jobs out there even in this economy. I'm am thankful that he has a job offer, even though I was prepared for him to be unemployed for a long time, and even the possibility of him going to school full time.

Well time to go read my two new books... A children's book called "Bad Kitty Gets a Bath" and another book by Claire Cook called " Summer Blowout." I'll let you know what I think when I'm finished. I also ordered a cat book called "The Abandoned" upon the referral of a friend. When it comes in I look forward to reading it. Oh I also ordered a new pedometer as mine died last week. I can't wait for it to come as I need the motivation to walk.

BLAIRE IS MY NEW NAME!

This weekend I went back home for my 2oth high school reunion. I have to say that they needed name tags, as I only recognized about 4 of the people that attended, and I kept staring at peoples spouses wondering were they in my class. Name Tags are a must at reunions. When I left high school I never looked back, not once until this weekend. It was very weird to walk through my old high school. The crazy Orange carpets were gone, the ugly orange lockers were now blue. The cafeteria was still the same, well there were soda and candy machines that we never had but other than that it was the same, and the science rooms were the same.
It was nice to see old friends. Many people commented that my daughter looked very much like me, but you know, I see the connection only with the blond hair, and yet my hair was much more lighter than hers, and I was much smaller than her. But it was fun to hear people say, they knew I was there because they had seen my daughter. It was nice to catch up with everyone, but in thinking back on it now, there was not enough time, I'd have liked to sit and talk to everyone a little bit longer. Find out how they met their spouse, what they did for work, and what dreams have been met in their lives and what dreams they still aspired to. One of my friends is a Judge! WOW. How cool. Most of my friends from school still live in the same state, and some of them see each other all the time. I hope I have more contact with them before another 10 years rolls by.
Why is my name now "Blaire?" Well my parents gave up a whole weekend of camping because I was coming home for a reunion. They put aside their plans, went out and loaded up on tons of food, and invited people over so that we could all visit. They were so excited to have us home, or I should say my Mom was. It all connects with the the movie "Christmas with the Kranks". The daughter leaves, they decide to skip Christmas and go on a cruise. Then on Christmas eve Blaire calls and says she is coming home with her fiance. Mom cancels all plans for a cruise and rushes around to have a big party for Blaire. So all weekend I was called "Blaire." Then last night we watched the movie. So I think from now on my parents are going to call me Blaire. At least I know I'm loved.
Unemployment world: Well my husband had his interview with unemployment and he will be receiving his benefits this week. He has two interviews this week. One tomorrow at 11am with an auto shop down the road from our house, and then another on Wednesday at 11am. I am so happy that he is getting interviews. The interview times are good too, as you should have an interview between 11am and 3pm, but no later than 3pm as then the interviewer is done with thinking about work and thinking about going home. Please pray that things go well.
I am still working on my resume and some cover letters. Hope to have things polished off and ready to go by next week. I've decided to try applying at the 24 hour vet clinic down the street first. I know I'd love being a receptionist at a Vet clinic. So say some prayers for me too.