These past few months have been like living at an amusement park where everything that could go wrong has. I absolutely hate amusement parks, in fact my children and I have only been to amusement parks a few times, and anytime we are there it just makes me realize how much I dislike them. For the most part I have felt as if I have been living on a roller coaster. The photo here is exactly how I've been feeling. One moment we are going up, things are looking better. The first looking better was my husband was able to collect unemployment. As there were glitches and gosh we just didn't know. So when we found that he could get unemployment that was great, we were OK. I was ready to have him collecting and looking for work, and having it take a few months. Maybe even going back to school. Then he got two job offers. We were definitely feeling like we were going up, the unfortunate thing is that with the up there is a down. My husband chose a job, in which he prayed about, asked for advice and felt would be the ultimate best job of the two. Plus
it gave him Sundays off which is important for us. Well he started his new job yesterday, and the learning curve is HUGE. He billed 3hrs. Poor him. I hope today is better. So we have plummeted, and have been shipped to the scrambler. I hate the scrambler. It twirls you about, knotting your stomach up. In fact I think I was still on the up part of the roller coaster, while my husband had already been whizzing around in the scrambler. I know my husband is a great mechanic, I was up, he will do well. He was scared and twirling. Now we are both scared and
twirling about. Will he make enough money for us to survive? Will he pick up the pace and be able to get enough hours? Will he soon be unemployed again and then feel defeated? At least on unemployment we can survive. But if it goes too long with poor pay, we will soon find ourselves not surviving well.
Farris wheels are also a sore point with me. My life could be like the Farris wheel too. Your up, then down, then up, then down, and due to bad childhood experiences with Ferris wheels my stomach is always sick. My stomach is sick, and yet everyone in the house is looking to me for support. I'm the cheerleader for my husband, the caretaker for the children. I'm not sure how long I can continue. I want to sit and cry, and yet I can't do it in front of the kids, I can't do it in front of my husband. How long will I be stuck in this amusement park? It is so tiring.
I try hard to think "This was just day one" Remember day one of unemployment, we didn't even know if my husband would be able to get any unemployment benefits, and then he was able, it's just another day one, feeling unsure, but hopefully in the end it will turn out fine. Pray for us please we need it. I will continue to think "It will be OK... I don't know what OK is... but it will be OK!
the roller coaster doesn't sound fun- but... you have all the really important things in life and the rest are just frosting on the cake; you have love, family and you all support each other. And from the photos you all look like you all have been able to keep smiling. what do they say? "Don't sweat the small stuff"? When you think long term- you are all going to be fine I just know it.
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