Sorry for the late e-mail. To be honest, I am very stressed out. This past week has been very difficult for us here in San Felipe. We have been working hard but we have not seen the fruits of our labors.
We have district and zone leaders here in the mission that we report to nightly and weekly. We report to them how the area is going, as well as the people we have contacted in the streets, lessions given, etcetera. This week started a new transfer, a six week period of work. Companionships have been swapped around a bit, but fortunately I am staying with Elder Arellanes because I haven't completed my training. This week we discussed the goals of excellence, and we discussed working with faith that we can achieve those goals. My companion and I were unsure about the numbers, but we were sure that we could achieve what was possible for San Felipe.
The following days, the leaders started pressing us for the numbers. The numbers. The numbers.
Keep in mind that this work is not about numbers. It's about children of God. I myself find it a bit unsettling when we are pressed for numbers, because in reality, these are all people who have agency. Yes, we want to bring all to a better and brighter future... but we cannot look at people like we can a statistic. My companion felt stressed as well. The issue is, when there are no numbers, the leaders think that we are not working... Which we, well, were. Perhaps it's my pride getting in the way. I asked what more we could do, and we recieved the same responses we always get.
We continued working.
Saturday was the day my companion and I broke. We had contacted an entire colonia, and recieved one person who was only somewhat interested. I have no idea how many doors I knocked, how many people hid themselves in their houses, or expressed their lack of interest. My companion tired of contacting, so I tried to pick up the pace and do double. There's only two problems.
I can't grab anyone's interest for nothing, and my spanish isn't where I need it to be just yet to hold a one on one conversation. By far the most shameful thing that happened was that I greeted a house with a friendly hello, and their immediate response was "No".
We returned broken hearted to the chapel, all of our planned visits with our investigators had fallen, and not having the strength to talk to one more person. I broke down and cried.
Well, whatever pride I had fell. I felt quite ashamed and exhausted. I felt that the hard work we had been doing was all for nothing. I questioned if the day would have been any different if we had just stayed inside the casa and done nothing.
My companion and I prayed for inspiration, patience, and help. We were utterly broken. We gave ourselves time to clear our red eyes and went back out to try and help out an investigator (who also wasn't there) and then to dillute our stress my companion tried to order a pizza (but not even the pizza place would pick up). It took about ten attempts before we were able to place an order.
Well. We're going to forget that the past week even happened. We're going to work with the faith and strength we had on the second week we had here in San Felipe. ¡Trabajamos con ganas!
And that's that. Everything else is alright. Don't worry about me, leave the worrying about me to me :)
As always, I close with a spiritual thought. Well, more or less.
The past week had me thinking about using my talents, grabbing the attention of those in the street, how to better be... me.
I believe that I recieved something quite special, a little blessing from the Lord in my time of need.
I've been making these little artsy-cards in my free time. They're quite nice. I'll send you a few of my favorites in a following e-mail... but I thought I could use my talent to better peak the interest of those wanderers whom we haven't reached.
I call it, "Drawing connections between the Bible and the Book of Mormon"!
It's a bit of a game, you see. Most people here in San Felipe are quite comfortable with the Bible that they have, and they don't believe they need anything more (sadly, some of them say this without even reading it for themselves). The goal here is to point out similarities between the two sacred works in a way that the people can understand. At the very least, I can get them to read their Bibles more. Do you know the two stories here? They're both about repentance and change. On the left is Saul of the New Testament, who, while going about persecuting the church of God, recieved a vision of the Lord Jesus Christ. From this experience, he had a change of heart, and became a mighty apostle.
On the right is Alma the younger, who, while going about persecuting the church, recieved a visitation from an angel. From this experience, he had a change of heart, and became a mighty prophet.
I plan to make more like these, and I am perserving them with sheets of plastic so I can take them with me in whatever weather to whatever place and teach in my own style.
I love you all, I miss you dearly, and I pray that God will be ever with you. Success in daily battles!
-Elder Bowlby.
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