There is one more day and the children will be off to school. Here is a very old photo of them on one of their early back to school moments. My daughter was headed off to Kindergarten and my Son to second grade. I was to be alone in my house for the first time since having children. I liked it when they both got on the bus at the same time. Now my son will head out for the bus before 7am, and my daughter will be getting on the bus closer to 9am. It doesn't make it easy to find a job with the strange bus times.
I had thought I was over that feeling of missing my old job, but Saturday night I had a dream I was working in the library. I woke up and just cried. My biggest problem is that I fit in there. I enjoyed working on my own, and I enjoyed working with the children. I enjoyed making the bulletin boards, and putting books away, and I enjoyed helping a child find the right book. My biggest worry is that in finding a new job, I won't be able to find that same enjoyment.
Applying for Jobs just takes so much energy. First you dress up, and go out and ask people if they are hiring, then you have to fill out applications. Every place you go to has a different application. They want to know where you worked before, why did you leave, how much did you get paid, who was your supervisor. What was your job description. ( With that one they don't even give you enough room to write out what you did. Ugh! ) Then some want personal references, some want professional references, and some don't ask for references. Some want to know what you liked the most about your job, and what you didn't like. My problem is both jobs I've had I really liked. The Library job I loved everything! There was nothing I didn't like. But you know that they want you to put something.
I understand why people don't apply for jobs and just collect unemployment. Am I filling this out right? Is my handwriting neat enough. What if I don't remember the name of my supervisors because other than the Library job, the other job I worked at was 12 years ago. No one that I worked with is even there anymore. I haven't even gotten to the hand the applications in and interview part yet. Oh and some places make you take these online tests. I haven't taken that yet either. I remember way back I applied for a bank teller position and they gave timed tests. I'm good at math. I can work a calculator. But I hate timed tests. Lets just say I didn't get that job.
One sad thing for me is that tomorrow if I hadn't lost my job would be my first day back. All the teachers and staff go back the day before school. I'd be getting all the student names and bar codes ready. Making sure that things were neat, and putting up the welcome back bulletin board. I'd be catching up with the librarian about what he did over the summer. I'd get to see all the teachers that I've become friends with. Tomorrow will be a very bitter sweet day for me. I will take my daughter to her new school and meet her teachers and see if she knows anyone in her class. But I won't get to go to work. It will be the day that I know I need to focus on filling out those applications and hope for some interviews. Wednesday also will have its joys of seeing my children move forward in their schooling. Both off to new schools, meeting new friends, seeing old friends and to begin the learning process again. And yet I'll be left home alone again. I don't like being home alone, and that will push me to go out. I actually plan to dress up and go out and get more applications. Just go see who is hiring and apply. I know that I'll go crazy if I stay home alone. So the next two days are filled with excitement and dread for me. I am back at the amusement park, waiting in line for one of those rides that I don't really like.
No comments:
Post a Comment