What if the blessings......

There is this really great song: Blessings.


It makes you think are your trials really blessings from God. I like this part :" What if your blessings come through raindrops, What if your healing comes through tears? And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?" I've had two years of sleepless nights, and I've always know God was near. My thought when I hear this song is what if your blessings come from moving? What if the answers to my prayers are taking me somewhere far away, but will bring me so much nearer to


God. I truly believe my family is supposed to move. Perhaps we were supposed to move years ago, but couldn't see it until the Lord made it the only option. I'm at peace with this move, and my husband and children are at peace with the move. Yet the world around us seems very unsettled about it. They continue to want to make what little time I have left here miserable. Many of my husbands friends don't believe what we believe, and they keep saying to my husband that if he were a member of a different church he would never have had the problems we have had.


They continue to try to find him a job here. Yet when he was here none of them helped look for jobs, helped him with his resume, all they wanted was for him on his days off to help them with their projects. It seems that to all his friends poverty for our family would be much better than moving. None them have looked beyond what they want from my husband, to what might be good for him and his family. None of them will care if we can't afford to pay for our children's college, or if in a few years the minimum wage, six day a week job they found him will not be enough for us to be able to keep our house. They think nothing of what it will take for us to continue to live here both working 40 hour plus a week just to barely make it, and hardly being a family. They just want my husband here so when he has free time he can fix their car

projects. Only two of my husbands friends have offered any help to me since he has left. So I know who the true friends are. Most of the help I get has been from people I work with and my neighbors. They have constantly gone above and beyond for me. This past week has been hard for me. I miss my together family, I miss my husband to pieces. I find myself in tears often. If I have to figure out how to fix this house on my own to get it on the market I'll do it. I just want to be where my husband is. I want my family back together. I'm tired of the negative remarks I get from people who should be supporting us. I'm thinking God must think I'm very strong to give me this trial. I'm putting all my faith in him. I looking for his blessings in all that is about me. The last flower photo is of a blanket flower. It has become my favorite flower. It blooms everywhere. It will grow and be beautiful wherever I move. I will too.

How the Great Recession has changed my families life.

The flowers that go with this blog today are lilies. Highly poisonous to cats, but beautiful to behold. You wouldn't think from the first few photos that something so beautiful would come from something that looks pretty plain and then pretty weird. But they do. So enjoy.


I've been contemplating how the Great Recession has changed my life. When it all started a few years ago I was just applying for a position as a library assistant at my daughters school. I had volunteered for a year because the position got cut due to budget cuts. You would have thought that because they brought the position back it would be safe. But a year later I found out




that was not to be the case. The lowest always go first. Way back then though I worked on a school project for the PTO called after school activities. The year before the activities would fill up fast and we would have tons of people to call and say, you didn't get in. The year the recession first hit the enrollment started to go down and we barely filled the activities. I told the people I worked with we should do less activities as it seemed people were struggling to be able to sign up due to the economy. No one wanted to listen to me, but I know I was right. Soon the teachers took over the program because they were upset that I

wanted to do activities every other month instead of every month. They wanted to make more money, but I could see that was not going to happen. In the end they stopped the program all together.

The recession next hit when my husbands boss could no longer pay our health care. He didn't tell us, we just got a letter saying our health care was cancelled. So I began to always deposit the pay checks in the savings account encase they became bad. The Health insurance no health insurance went on for quiet awhile. That was not fun.


Then in January of 2010 I found out my job as library assistant was being eliminated. It wasn't a school district decision, it was a state wide school decision. This was followed by watching so many co-workers lose their jobs. People were always crying in the halls. It's hard to know your job is ending and yet still have to work for 6 months. Especially when you don't want to lose your job. It's harder still to listen to those who are staying making plans knowing you won't be there. Yet looking back I'm glad I left because I would never have experienced my new job if I

hadn't left. And I've loved all I've learned. Soon after I lost my job, my husband lost his job. He had been looking for a new job for months, but hadn't found one. The job loss for him was much harder. He went through a depression. Although he found a new job rather fast, the job was hard, and paid very little. I often wonder if he had chosen the other job where we would be. As he got 3 offers at the same time. And now my husband has a new job in a different state. We are moving. This is something we never thought we'd ever do. This great recession as it is called has certainly changed my life. I'm not sure if it is for better or for worse. I tend to try to make the best of every situation. Has it changed your life? Well my husband came home this past weekend. It was wonderful. He is so much more his old self. It is much harder now to be away from him. I tell him each day apart is one more day closer to being together. I'm working hard to clean out and pack up my house. What a task. I've already donated tons of clothing, given away tons of stuff to different friends and thrown out at least 50 bags of garbage, and that's just from my attic. I can only hope this move will be one that brings us to a more stable life, and that we will find ourselves thinking back and saying this was a good thing. I have to say there are moments where I become absolutely terrified. That is when I just focus on the moment at hand and think of nothing else. Finish what is there in front of me. Here are two songs that help me.

Strong enough

Stronger

Enjoy!

Every garden needs a FROG!

Here he is my gardens frog. I made this little stone and gem pond for him. Isn't he cute. Although I've a friend who got a much nicer one for mother's day. Lucky her. I wonder will it go in the garden or will it stay in the house?
Well I've learned one thing lately, flowers do open and bloom even if the sun does not come out for days. I'm wondering if my husbands friend will ever be able to mow our lawn. It has rained every day for a long time now. I'm wondering if our summer is just going to be rain. I'm happy to report that I'm finally feeling better my voice is still not normal though. My daughter had strep throat this past weekend. I'm hoping we

are done with illness for a while. We'd done so well the past few months. The garden is beginning to produce some beautiful flowers. I try to get out and get some photo's when the rain stops. Here are some of my most recent photo's. This lily caught me quite by surprise this morning, I wasn't expecting it to be open yet.









These are iris. I planted them last fall. I always like to put something new in the garden.













My strawberry plant. I like the vibrant pink color.












And my favorite blanket flower. I think these grow out west. I'll be so happy if they do. I'm thinking I'm going have to dig up the hens and chickens and take them with me.

Yes, I think it's safe to whisper the fact that we are moving. My husband is still a little bit scared, but I feel it is the best move for us. With all I read about jobs and the economy, I'm just glad he has a good job with a growing company. I don't see it being easy to stay here. Unless he worked there and the kids and I stayed here. I don't think he would survive that. And although I have to admit the time apart has actually been very nice for me, I am beginning to miss him. I've felt kind of bad that I haven't missed him more. One of the people I work with looked at me kind of odd when I said I hadn't really begun to really miss him. But he was so stressed out the past year. He constantly talked down about himself, constantly said I deserved better than him. I was doing all the work with the kids and house, and he would just come home and sleep or mope about. It was hard to not want to hit him on the head with a frying pan ( I love repunzel in the tangled movie all the frying pan hitting that was my idea!). The time away has let me just not have to worry about him and his issues. He has been doing so well, and he is beginning to talk better about himself. (Obviously my husband never reads my blog!) And so I look forward to him coming home for a visit, and I'm starting to get the house cleaned out and organized for the move. Wish us luck and pray for us!

Time to read Garden Spells again!

Have you ever lost your voice? Totally not been able to speak? That happened to me last week. I had to drive into work to let them know I couldn't work because I couldn't speak. In your head you can hear what you want to say, and you sound normal, but when you open your mouth nothing comes out. It has been a very strange weekend for me. I spent it on "voice rest". Which means no talking. If you lose your voice buy "LUDEN'S Wild Honey Throat drops." They are so good.

My thought today is that I need to read "Garden Spells" by Sarah Addison Allen. The garden is beginning to take form, and the ivy is beginning to come up here and there. I'm actually a little ahead of it.

I think that I've actually been able to kill most of it in the past few years. Yet whenever I see it coming up I think of "Garden Spells."
I'm actually reading "The Peach Keeper" By Sarah Addison Allen. I like her books. This one I think has a murder mystery in it. I like the sense of magic she puts in her books. I'd like to think there is magic in this world. That we have special qualities that are unique to us. I guess that's why each time she publishes a book I run out and buy it, to read about the magic qualities that she describes so well.



Today I had hoped to work out in the garden, but ended up running errands, tomorrow I am Photographer for my mother in laws yearly fashion show, so no gardening. Then no time off until next Thursday. Ugh! I will just have to do stuff at night and in the early morning.
My husband seems to be doing well at his new job, I'm still in the mind set that we will move. I have been working hard to clean out my attic. I have to say I'm doing very well. I have 8 bags of garbage to bring down, and I have a bunch of stuff to give to one of my good friends. I'm also giving her my wedding dress so she can give it


to her brothers bride to be. I think it is great that the dress will be used again. The wedding is also going to take place at the same temple that My husband and I were married at. I love being able to help others out. Well I hope you have enjoyed the photo's of this beautiful purple flower. I have to figure out what it is. I know I planted it last fall, but have no clue what it is called. I'll be going to the library this afternoon, I'll have to pick up another flower book. Have a great week.
Moment of Joy:) Playing badminton with my daughter.

Some favorite flower photo's!

Here are some recent flower photo's. My daughter and I went on a field trip to Philadelphia to see the Liberty bell, and they had some really pretty tulips in bloom. We had a great time. Both of us get motion sick and so we tried the sea band wrist bands. And they worked! It was so nice not to have to have Dramamine!!
It was also nice to have a day out with my daughter.
My life has been very busy. I do have to admit I used my credit card once this past month. But once is so much better than many times. It was an emergency of sorts too. My husband was running out of cell phone points out in Utah and I


needed to buy him more and get them on his phone before we lost contact. I need help in picking out a good cell phone plan for us because I don't think the pay as you go plan will work well with it being his main source of communication.
My husband is having great success at his new job. Yesterday he fixed the "L" machine, which is very vital to the company. His bosses were so happy that he figured it out as they had paid people to come out in previous months that could not fix the machine. I'm so happy that he is doing so well so far. I've always wanted him to have a job where he feels successful and needed.

The remodel of the store where I work is almost over. I've been one of the main greeters during this time. I've walked about 6 miles each time I worked. And I've been working almost 40 hours a week. I've lost a bit of weight which makes me happy, "HELLO SUMMER OUTFITS!". I have realized that I've been living in a strange survival mode the past year. Right now I feel as if I'm slowly able to relax, and breath and do more than just survive. When you live with so much stress you make some poor choices or I made some poor choices. I stopped eating regular meals, and I've been living on a diet of Coca cola and salt and


vinegar chips. YUCK ! Right. well I've gone and bought some much better food for myself and I'm determined to get back into a good eating routine.
I've been so thankful for all the support of friends and family recently as my husband and I work towards finding where we belong. I'm thinking we are probably going to move, and so my goal on my days off is to clean up the house and get rid of as much stuff as possible. I feel very calm about all of this, and have no feeling of being over whelmed. Perhaps it's because of my most recent dream. Here it is. I dreamed I was blind folded and had to follow the instructions of this person. As I walked as they told me to I felt safe and when I got to where they wanted me, they took the blind fold off and turned me around. I looked at a sheer cliff. Everyone around me said I walked down it. I thought, that's impossible, but knew I must have. I think it means that what I've felt is impossible will happen and I'll get to the end and be safe. What do you think?
Well have a great day.
Blessings:) Every moment is a blessing, every second is change, and be thankful that you are alive. That's what my friends from India have taught me!

A study of Yellow.

I love to see all the yellow colored flowers out right now. Daffodils and Forsythia. Each has it's own shade of yellow, it makes me happy to see all the yellow flowers out. They make me think of sunshine. I have gotten 5 bags of stuff out of my attic in the last two days. I still have a long way to go before I feel it is done. But it is a start. I don't know where all of this change is taking my family, but I'm going to start getting ready. If we move things will be in order, and if we stay things will be in order. It is nice that our families have changed their opinions and are being supportive of our decision. Some of my husbands friends are still bothering him. I told my husband he should tell them to stop, because he has already given his word that he will go. Plus it is just wasting what little time he has left. He has a friend who daily calls with a new job lead. When my husband calls he finds that they really are not job leads. It just needs to stop. Well I hope you enjoy the yellow photo's as much as me.

GG = Greeter Girl too!

So G.G is supposed to be for Garden Girl, but lately at work I've been Greeter Girl. I now bring a pedometer with me to see just how much walking I do each day. I worked 5 hours yesterday and walked 6 miles. To say my legs are sore is an understatement. I enjoy being a greeter though. I just walk around saying hello to people, talking about the store's remodel and helping them find something or finding someone to help the customer. They all really appreciate it. Plus I think half of them think I'm a manager. I also get to chat with all the different employees and choose when I take my breaks. It's really quiet the fun job, except for all the walking.

Last night one of the cashiers that I'm friends with gave me one of their Credit card applications that they got. We always have a competition to see who will open the most. Isn't that bad. Here I am saying don't use credit cards, and yet at work part of my job is to ask customers to open them. My only thought is that if you use my stores credit card wisely you can save with all the discounts they give. But you have to use it wisely which is pay off the bill every month.

Well most of our family and friends know of my husbands soon to be journey. His mother has been very good about it and even believes that we will end up moving.

Others have not been as kind to my husband. They keep him on the swing of go, don't go. But you know it's really to late. He has made a commitment to this company to go. They let go their other employee. So he has to go. The one thing I know about my husband is he is a very loyal worker. If he gets out there and likes the job he will stay. He is just that way. He is looking for a job that pays every hour, one that gives him the weekends off, and one that is stable. I think he has found that. I just hope that he will find it to be challenging enough. Or that he will feel he is contributing. I'm thinking of getting a clock to put on his time. So that we feel a little more connected to him while he is gone. I think we also have a friend who is setting up Skype for us so that we can communicate and see each other. We both believe that if God wants us there he will get us there. Why am I blogging today, well because the thought of doing any type of movement makes my legs ache. Have a good weekend.