As the holiday season starts to surround us, I took time today to go out into my garden and reflect on this past year. I want to be more prepared for next year, and in thinking about the state of my life and where I have been, and where I would like to go. I realize that I accomplished many of my goals that I had last year. I also feel I have changed in major ways this past year. At the beginning of this year my goals were to find a new job, to draw closer to the Savior and to understand his life and teachings more, to improve my budget and enjoy my time with my family.
When I thought of my spirital walk I thought of myself being like Mary, sitting at the Saviors feet and learning about him. I remember recieving an e-mail in January from my Sister in Law about how glad she was that the previous year was over and that she hoped for a clam, storm free new year. I wanted that too. A year of Calm. Looking back I realize you don't learn when life is calm. I began my year reading the New Testament and thinking of the Savior, how nice it would be to say I sat at his feet and learned and it was a calm experience. Instead he took my hand and asked me to walk into the refiners fire. I took his hand and said I would do as he asked me. I walked through Hell for a very good friend. I often hear a song on the raido that says "I'll walk through hell with you, and if your wings are broken I'll give you mine." I'm not sure of the whole song but when I hear it I think of this dear friend. I would walk through Hell again for them, and I know they would do the same for me. I stood in that buring fire and knew the Savior was changing me, and I trusted him. I did not blame anyone for the pain that happened.
One thing I have always wanted is to see an Angel. I have always thought seeing an angel would be this great thing. As I went through the refiners fire this past year the Savior taught me one lesson after another. One was that we are Angels. Each of us has the ability to be an angel to someone in need. When I was in need, friends were there for me. I was given blessings, I received phone calls at the most perfect time, friends constantly cared for me through e-mails, texts, phone calls and visits. These people were God's angels. Every part of the trial I endured, every turn on the rocky path of change brought a new person in my life who cared for me. I was surrounded by Angels. I also realized that I was an angel to others. One of my desires is to bring sunshine into this world. To bring hope to others. I was able to help many even as I learned and suffered with my Savior. I learned about issues that made me more compassionate, and allowed me to be of help. In the process of refinement I realized that my soul, and the standards of God were the most important to me. I learned that I could not walk with blinders on and pretend all was right. I realized that Integrity was important to me. I had gone so long feeling that I was slowly lowering my standards, and at some point I realized my standards and my integrity were what were important. My desire to always be worthy to attend the Temple and be near to God was most important to me.
I spent this year changing. I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for a new job where I can work with integrity. I was glad when I went to orientation and my supervisor said "This is not a glamorous job, it is hard work, but it is honest work." I want honesty, and integrity in my life.
My new job has helped me reach some of my goals. I am better off financially. One of my goals was to save money, and to stop using credit cards. I have done both this year. I look forward to the new year where I hope to save more, and to rid myself of credit card debt. Now that I no longer use Credit cards I am paying what I have down faster. I also look forward to making even better budget decisions.
I have been blessed to have more time with my family. I have had more energy, and I no longer have stress that came with my old job. I walk out the doors of where I work and leave every thing from work at work. I never realized how much I was bringing home in my old job. My daughter recently said how nice it is that she sees me leaving for work happy. That I don't say "pray for me I'm going to Hell" as I walk out the door. I wonder why did I stay so long. But I think perhaps it was for that friend, I was supposed to help that one friend get out of hell with me.
I have to say I am thankful for it all. I'm thankful I took the Lord's hand and walked a rugged path. I realized that you can have "Calm" in your life even in the middle of a storm. You can make your own calm when all the world around you seems out of control. You do it by caring for yourself. By finding quiet. By holding onto the Savior. The blessings come after your trial of Faith. I have seen so many blessings, and continue to receive more. One thing I know is that Blessings from God are not wealth or material things. Blessings are revelation, increased knowledge, and the spirit guiding you.
As the path of this year comes to an end, do you find you have changed for the better.? Have you had a challenging year? Have you moved closer to the Savior or have you moved away from him? Are you planning your next year out? As I cleaned my garden today I thought about this year and how quickly it has gone. I have felt gratitude for my trials. I have realized I changed in large ways and in good ways.
My path this year began in the Temple, and I'm glad to find it is ending with me still attending the Temple and Learning more about my Savior. I hope next year to attend the Temple more often, to cherish every moment that I can with my family.
Have you started to think about your goals for next year?
Let me know what you plan to do.
G.G.
