There are five days left before summer vacation is officially over. The pool closed last week. Of course we could not get the hot weather we have had all summer, no it rained half the week, so we only got into the pool twice. Now this week is hot and miserable. The kids and I are ready for school to begin. They are ready to see old friends and make new friends and to get away from each other. I'm ready to find a new job, and learn new things and meet new people. The change that we have lived through this summer has not beaten us down, but allowed us to grow and learn. One thing I have learned is to focus on the day, and look for the blessings that I have.
I have also looked for what I am learning. There is no "Why me?" "Why this?" The question is "What am I learning from this.?" I have learned that you don't cancel one health insurance policy until you know you have another health insurance policy. I have learned that working even if it is for less is better than sitting about collecting unemployment. I have learned to live in the moment, and not to worry about the future. I have learned that everyone has trials, and how you react to the trials is more important than the trial. I have learned who is there to
help, and who I need to stay away from. I have learned that I still need to work on being patient. ( able to bear quietly or wait for something calmly.)
I have learned that having messes in the house is OK. I have learned how to find peace while being surrounded by storms. I've learned to just let go so that I can allow my husband to have less stress.
I had a huge list of things I wanted to accomplish this summer. I was going to clean out my house and bring more order, I was going to have the children read, and do math everyday. I was going to get my attic cleaned. I was going camping in Vermont, and I was going to visit my parents for a week after. I was going to participate in the 4-H fair with my daughter.
We were going to spend all our weekends at the beach, and the list probably goes on. I did not get much of that list done. We did go camping, we did the 4-H fair. We got to my 20 year reunion. Yet the children did not read all to much, or do that much math. The house still is not as organized as I would like it. In lamenting about this to a friend they asked "Did your children have a fun summer?" I said "Yes." and they said "Well that's really all that's important." And you know they were right. Then I read a few magazine articles about loving your mess, and felt better that my house wasn't as organized as I would like.
So I guess I have to say that the summer was good. My husband is doing well in his job, and is finally sleeping at night. My children had a carefree and fun summer full of swimming at the pool and beach. And I got to relax, read, and get a little more organized. I've come to terms that my job is over and that there will be a new job and new possibilities for me. I had thought I should work nights, but now I'm looking to work from about 10 to 3:30. This way my family can still be together for dinners. I have finally found the closure that I needed to move on. And I'm OK with the amusement park rides that I've been on.
I'm so used to the ups and downs, and the spinning that if things become normal, I may not know how to react. To have smooth moments instead of bumpy rides might actually cause me to worry. I hope soon to write about the new job that I'm beginning and what life is like as a working mom, with teens and tweens. I know there will be moments of trial, and moments of peace, and moments of learning and moments of Joy.
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