21 years ago I fell in love with my opposite...That's what they say isn't it "Opposites attract"...And 20 years ago we planned and had a whirlwind wedding...One of our good friends took our wedding photo's and I'm forever grateful for that gift, I have a beautiful album that I look at every August. This is me on my wedding day. I recently showed a friend some photos and she exclaimed.."you are like a princess...You look like Cinderella.." If I could have found a small Cinderella figurine for my wedding cake that is what would have been on my cake. That is what I wanted to look like, so twenty years later to have someone still see that is wonderful.
As I think back I realize that I didn't really understand how opposite my husband and I were, young love has a way of making everything seem perfect. As life goes on those differences have a way of either pulling you apart or pulling you closer. I think we have been lucky because we have found how to live together and stay true to ourselves and enjoy our differences. I'm quiet, I need a lot of solitude, I don't try to make any thing in life be perfect. My husband is loud, he is the life of the party, he wants everything to be perfect. I often look at him and think I could never live in that type of brain. I could live with very little material items and my husband attaches memories to every item he has. He collects things and I throw things out. We even say words differently. To the point that I stopped saying certain words so that I would not be corrected. I like thick milkshakes he wants them thin...why would anyone want Ice cream in a cup...
I have a need to be places 15 minutes early and my husband doesn't feel the need to leave until you are supposed to be somewhere...We typically get places just about on time, I learned to just say we need to be someplace a half hour earlier than we really needed to be there. My husband will talk and say whatever comes to his mind without thinking, and I think about what I'm going to say before I say anything. My husband has learned over the years how not to say things that will cause me stress, and I have learned to be more social. It is not easy being married to your opposite. We are also not close in age. We grew up in totally different time periods, and I worked for everything I had, while most of what he had was given to him. He would talk of his summers at the beach as if everyone had that, and how after this summer of fun he then got a special weekend treat before school started. And I would think of working all summer and the special treat was using my money to buy school clothing. I talk budget, saving, and being frugal, and he is eating, and buying as if there are no worries...I will not lie to you finding our middle ground is not always easy. Good friends have looked at us and asked "how did you ever meet and end up married...
Meeting and getting married that is the easy part of life...Learning to live with someone and love them for who they are and not try to change them, but allowing them to be their true self that is the hard part of life and marriage... But in our 20 years of marriage we have found ways to stay close, and yet be ourselves... And we have done what our wedding song talked of...We grew old together...Not that we are really old yet...but we are 20 years older....We still have to work everyday to grow in love together, to keep connected, and we laugh often about how different we are from each other....
One thing I have done over the years is find songs that fit our life and our story, as I share our stories and our wedding photo's this month I'll share my favorite songs too.
Our wedding song was
"Grow Old Along With Me" sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter.
A new song that I find I love that fits our life is
"Lucky"...I feel lucky to be in love with my best friend.
G.G.
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