4 generations of Bowlby men ...They Were Never, Ever, Ever ........Going to get married (but they did and their marriages lasted the test of time)

This is Lewis Bowlby.  I don't know that he was never, ever, ever going to get married as the generations after him, but at one point he was not going to get married to the woman who ended up being his wife.  He had fallen in love with a woman of a different faith (I'll be blogging on this in the future).  And realizing the turmoil this would cause her, him and their parents they decided to end their relationship.

This is Minnie Dineen.  The love that he swore he would leave.  Her parents would not allow a marriage if Lewis ( a Presbyterian ) did not convert to the Catholic faith.  Or at least promise that all children born to the marriage would be raised catholic. Lewis and Minnie tried very hard to not get married, to find someone else, but in the end love won out.  Lewis promised Minnie that the children could be raised Catholic and that he would join the Catholic church after his father passed away.  The sad ending to this tale is that Lewis died before his father in a train accident.  As a final effort though to keep his promise to his wife he had a Catholic priest pronounce him Catholic on his death bed.

This is John Dineen Bowlby.  He was very sure that he would never,ever, ever  get married.  I'm not sure why but he was sure he would not get married. In fact he did not get married until he was almost 35 years old.

This is Mary Clare Brutcher.  The woman who made him change his mind about marriage.  I'm not sure of how they met, but when John met Mary he knew he found the right woman.  Mary was actually engaged to another man when they met.  John recounted that he knew that he had to "break that engagement up".  And he did.

Here is the beautiful bride.  I don't have any other wedding photo's, but I do have a news paper clipping on the wedding.  I'll have to get it scanned into the computer sometime soon.

The happy couple years later.  You can just tell that he still loves her, just the way he looks at her.

Here is their youngest son Richard Bowlby.  Another I'm never, ever, ever getting married man.  I think at some point they should advise others not to say that.  Seems that when you say it cupid uses extra potent arrows.

Here is the unsuspecting bride to be Miss Bettyanne Papcun.  She also was never, ever, ever going to get married.  In fact she was going to have her own singing career.  And was well on her way to that, when she was set up on a blind date.  And one blind date changed two lives forever.

Here they are on their wedding day. Richard got married a bit younger than his father and grandfather. 

Here they are fifty years later renewing their wedding vows. 

And here is the happy couple 57 years later.  Visiting their son and his family in Utah. The missionaries at the temple visitor center loved chatting with them and loved that they wore matching outfits, even though that was not planned.

Here is their youngest son James Bowlby.  James took after the generations before him and said he would never, ever, ever get married.  In fact after joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints, and hearing that they believed marriage to be a very important part of life said " I would not get married unless the hand of God pointed down from the skies and said "Bowlby you do or die!" "  Some one in his family should have warned him not to say that.  It surely gets Bowlby men in to trouble.

His wife to be Kimberly.  She also was never,ever, ever going to get married.  She was going to work with horses and stay away from men.  But somehow these two met and cupid shot his arrow.

And they were married for all time and eternity!  

I hope you enjoyed this.  I love "love stories" and how people meet.  You don't often hear people say I was never going to get married.  Most of the time people are looking for that someone special.  So when I heard so many stories in my husbands family line of not intending to get married I knew I had to do a little blog about it.  My son seems to think he will get married some day.  He needs to make sure the Bowlby line continues. My daughter, on the other hand, well she says she is never, ever, ever getting married.  She would much rather live with cats.  I just smile.....She is so like me in some ways.

Related Sites:

How do I Love Thee.... 

And that we will call story number 39.....The stories of your ancestors lives bring the history into family history

My in-laws came to visit this past August.  And we had a great time visiting.  I think what I loved most was all the time we got to sit and visit and all the stories I got to here of my mother in law's life and those in the family that she shared.
As much as I love looking for new people to add to my family tree, my greatest happiness comes when I find a story, or a journal entry.  Something that makes the people in my family tree real, with trials, joys and everything that comes with life.

My mother in law has great stories to tell.  How her parents sacrificed and worked hard so she could go to a private singing school.  Her mother made many beautiful dresses for her.  How she was never going to get married but have a big music career.  She had her own radio show when she was young.

Here is a photo of her when she had her Carnegie Hall debut.  She talked of the letters she wrote to my father in-law when he was serving over seas, and told stories of being a young mother and the things that her kids did that drove her a little crazy.

She talked about her parents, and her in-laws.  My father in law said " Dear they don't want to hear your stories.  We can call that one story number 39...."  But you know I loved all those stories.  Every Sunday we used to go visit them and I would love hearing all the family stories.  

So anytime you can, sit down and listen to the stories, and make stories of your own.  Because each moment is precious, each story is about real people and makes family history books more rich and rewarding.

My mother in law has new stories to tell now.  She gets to tell everyone about her trip to Utah.  About the mountains that make you feel really small, about the beautiful house her children have that needs curtains, and about a great visit with lots of walking up hills.  These stories must be well up into the hundreds.  But I know she is telling them.  I miss our weekly visits.  But I have my own adventures and stories to make and in eternity we will sit and chat for a long time.  Laughing and reminiscing about how wonderful our lives were.

So remember as you go about doing your family history research to stop and listen to the stories of those who are a part of your life.  As I was writing this blog I received a letter from my mother about how she wished she knew more about her family.  How she did not know much about her grandparents because they passed away before she was born, and how she didn't know much about her parents lives before she was a child.  I think deep down we all long to know about those who came before us.  So as I search for those in my family tree I also spend a lot of time trying to find out their stories.  I hope someday my children will stop and listen and know that their parents and grandparents had lives with stories that are just as interesting as their own.

Related sites:

Bridges to the past 

Putting "Family" Back into Family History

The Last Leaf on the branch

Black- Eyed Susans....Flowers that grow both in New Jersey and Utah

Here is a photo from my Utah garden of a Black- Eyed Susan.  I love these flowers.  The scientific name is Rudbeckia hirta.  Rudbeckia is after the scholar Olaus Rudbeck and his son who had the same name.  Hirta means rough and hairy.  And if you look at the stem and leaves of a Black Eyed Susan you will see that they are rough and hairy.  One thing I love about gardening is to watch a plant grow from seedling to bloom.  This is one of those plants that I know what the seedling looks like.  So even though I did not plant these in my garden, as soon as I saw the seedlings come up I knew what the plant would be.

This is what the Black- Eyed Susan flower looks like before it  blooms.  You can kind of see all the hairs on the plant.  The Black- Eyed Susan is a type of Cone Flower.  I am trying to grow some Purple Cone Flowers in the back of my garden, they probably won't bloom till next year but they are growing.

Black Eyed Susan's come in various sizes and shapes.  I'm amazed by how different they can look.  This is a photo from my New Jersey garden.

Here is a photo of one before it has fully opened.

Some have a red center.  I like this photo even though I think there was some problem in the development of it.( I want to say development of the film, but it was a digital photo so not sure what to say other than the light when taking the photo was off. I'm not a professional photographer.)  The background has a bluish tint, but I find it a bit on the artistic side.  As the flower to me seems to pop out of the photo more.

This flower is actually very small.  It is from my Utah garden.  I just thought it was beautiful.

Here is the small Black Eyed Susan by my petunias, just so you can get an understanding of how small it really is.  So these photo's show the types of  Black- Eyed Susan's that I was familiar with from New Jersey and Vermont.  Out west there is another type of  Black- Eyed Susan.  The Black- Eyed Susan Vine. Which really is not related to the Black-Eyed Susan at all.   I planted one this year.  So here are a few Photo's of it as well.

The only similarity is that they have a dark middle. And the middle of this flower is actually purple.

Here is a photo of the them together.  I'm not sure which I like better.
Sending Black- Eyed Susan flowers to someone means you are sending them encouragement.
They are a bit toxic to pets so keep the kitty from eating them.  I had some in the house and my cat did not want to leave them be, so had to put them outside. Well hope you enjoyed the photo's.  I'm working on getting my photo's together in my old computer so I can print them out and possibly sell them as cards or framed art work.  I have a few new post ideas coming soon....One on listening to the stories of parents and grandparents, and one on the fact that 3 generations of Bowlby men were not going to get married but did. So be watching, as I hope to be more productive in the next few weeks.
Related sites:
Meaning of flowers 
Olaus Rudbeck
Wild American Beauty, All about the Black Eyed Susan
Types of Black-Eyed Susan with names and photos.
G.G.

Grow Old Along With Me 17 Years of Marriage (Part 3 An Eternal Marriage....)

As happy as my wedding day was, there was one bleak out look.  My husband and I were married only until  " Death do you part"    Deep down inside I know that we are more than the people we are today.  Deep down I wanted more than just this life.  We had a "Civil Marriage"  because we are the first members of our family to have joined "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints."  We did not want all of our family to be upset that they could not go to our wedding.  It was a very hard decision as I would have liked to just go to the Temple for our marriage.   My husband was right though, it would have caused a lot of hurt feelings.

On November 2nd,1996 my husband and I went to the Washington D.C. Temple and were sealed for Time and All Eternity.  I knew in my heart that I had found what my soul has always told me was true.  Life exists beyond this world, and I wanted my best friend to be with me always.  Looking back on it, I realize that I did not fully understand all that went on that day.  I'm thankful now to be living in Utah and able to attend the temple regularly so that I can learn more about the world and the eternities beyond.

Over the past few weeks of looking at old photo's and remembering our wedding day and sealing day I have learned an interesting fact.  The song that I loved for our Wedding "Grow Old Along With Me."  Was taken from a poem by Robert Browning.  During our sealing the person who sealed us read a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.  Two poets who were in love.  Their love story is very interesting.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. Elizabeth Barret Browning.

Those who love with all their hearts don't just love for this life.  They love forever.  I can not imagine a day with out my husband, how could I survive an eternity with out him.  A few weeks ago we went to the temple to do sealings for the first time since we had been sealed in the Temple.  It had been a desire of mine for so many years to go back and do this.  It was so wonderful to be able to think about our special day while doing this.  I gained a wonderful testimony that day of how important this ordinance in the temple is.  I am so thankful for the wonderful blessing of being sealed to my husband for eternity.

Related Sites:

The Family

Eternal Marriage make it special

Temples and Eternal Marriage

 

 Temple Mirrors of Eternity

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

 

 

 

Grow Old Along With Me......17 years (part 2 more photo's and favorite wedding songs)

After the wedding we got into my husbands old classic car and went to our Bishop's house (who also happened to be my husbands boss at the the time) to take some photo's of the wedding party.

Ready to drive away.  I can tell you though sitting in my dress was very painful.  For some reason it was a bit tight and breathing while sitting was hard.

Here is our wedding party.  It wasn't that big, as I was new to New Jersey and the only friends I had were my friends from work.  I have to say now working in retail, I'm glad we went with the black tux.  So many people run around crazy looking for the same colored shirts and ties.

I love all these photo's.  We were so young, so in love.  I look at young lovers now and think oh you have so much to learn.  Our wedding song was "Grow Old Along with Me."  Sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter.  I think even then I knew that this was just a beginning.  Making it to old age together is the challenge.

I think he is whispering things to me, he always has a way of making me laugh.  My next favorite song I found when we were married for ten years. " I'll Love You All Over Again."  By Alan Jackson.  Country singers seem to have good wedding songs.  On our ten year anniversary I made a DVD with photo's of our life together to Alan's song.  I'll have to see if I can find it.  Gosh it seems like yesterday was our 10 year anniversary.  I didn't really believe my husband when he said we were married for 17 years.  Time sure does fly by.

The last photo before going off to the reception.  I have to say that the one thing I remember was there were lots of little black flies out and the fact that we smiled through all these photo's is amazing.

Our first dance.  I remember I took off the pretty little white dress shoes and put white sneakers on for the reception.  You couldn't see my feet anyways.  Now looking back 17 years the song that I love about marriage is "Dancing in the Mine fields." by Andrew Petersen  Marriage is not easy, it is a lot of giving, and caring, and forgiving, and accepting each other.  It's hard work, its being tossed in a storm and being committed to staying.  There have been days when my husband has cared for me and helped me, and days when I've done the same for him.  We said " I do"  For better, for worse, when sick, when healthy, when poor, when rich, when young, and when old.  I remember a time when my husband was struggling and he said, you should leave me, I've changed I'm not that young sure man any more that you married.  I said, I know, but I love you more now than then.   To grow and change with some one is hard.  But I know in the end it is worth it.  

A toast to our future.  We don't drink alcohol so I'm sure this was ginger ale....

Cutting the cake.  I made the little angel with the flowers on the top.  It was a really good cake, but I don't think we ate the frozen half a year later.
In part three I'll share photo's from our Temple Wedding.  It's kind of neat I have two wedding days.
G.G.

Grow Old Along With Me..... To 17 years of Growing together (Part 1... until death do us part)

In honor of my upcoming 17th wedding anniversary thought I'd share some wedding photo's.  Here I am with my mom before the wedding.  I had this dream of a princess dress.  I think I watched too much Disney Princess movies when I was young.  I loved the dress, but it was a bit tight and at points breathing in it was hard.  I'd never fit in it now.

A friend of ours from church took the photo's of our wedding day as a wedding gift.  I'm am so thankful for that every year I love to pull the album out and look at our special day.  The first set of photo's were taken at my in-laws house.

Here is a photo of me with my husbands grandmother.  When she was young she was a talented seamstress, She made many of my mother in-laws dresses.

Here I am with my parents getting ready to head off to the church.

Here comes the bride.  These photo's were taken after the actual ceremony.

Exchanging of the rings.

You may kiss the bride!

I love this close up of our hands.  I want to have something similar done at some point.
So this was our wedding day, our until death do you part wedding.  In my next blog post I'll share more photo's of our wedding and the songs I love about marriage.
G.G.